dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

(via sexy-nugget)

Fool Me Once - Chandelier (Piano Version)

(Source: cd-complexity, via stringy-cheese)

castielsteenwolf:

my favorite thing is when you hear a huge crash and then the sound of a cats paws hitting the floor and 4 seconds later you see your cat walk out of the kitchen with that look like “dont fuckin look at me i didnt do shit”

(via atomiclightbulb)

Cashier: That'll be $4.03

Me: I only have $4...

Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents

Me: ...........

Cashier: ........

Me: what are we?

analish:

do you ever have those times at 4am where you get so motivated and decide to get all your shit together and then plan out your entire life and future and then the next morning you’re just like lol

(via atomiclightbulb)